Self confidence issues.

[Rdavisipad]

As the title suggests, I have zero self confidence. I'm the guy that stands in the corner at social gatherings, I can't talk confidently to people, I never really feel good about myself. I even wear hoodies in summer (defeats the point of working out)

Does anyone here used to have this problem? How did you overcome it?.... it sucks

 

[darrenG10]

I think we all do majority around aren’t confident like you’d think it’s mostly a act like acting you build a character and portray him with coming across like nothing is wrong like how most who suffer deeply never display it but you’d never guess had issues

It’s definitely normal not a bad thing.

 

[Functional Fitness]

You're not alone mate and I've been "that guy" all my life.
Instead of trying be something different though I think It's better to just accept yourself and be who you are and find coping mechanisms to live day to day life. If that means retreating from social interaction and not being the centre of attention, it's okay and perfectly normal, and in fact I've come to enjoy being a bit of a loner and appreciating my own company and living a simple uncomplicated life and I'm drawn towards other people who are a bit shy/socially awkward/distant.

The more people you get involved with in this world....the more drama and problems you will encounter. Is that what you want?
You're not missing out on much not being able to talk to people. Most people suck anyway and they aren't actually even worth knowing or talking to

Live your own life and love yourself mate and don't waste time wishing you were someone different.

 

[darrenG10]

You're not alone mate and I've been "that guy" all my life.
Instead of trying be something different though I think It's better to just accept yourself and be who you are and find coping mechanisms to live day to day life. If that means retreating from social interaction and not being the centre of attention, it's okay and perfectly normal, and in fact I've come to enjoy being a bit of a loner and appreciating my own company and living a simple uncomplicated life and I'm drawn towards other people who are a bit shy/socially awkward/distant.

The more people you get involved with in this world....the more drama and problems you will encounter. Is that what you want?
You're not missing out on much not being able to talk to people. Most people suck anyway and they aren't actually even worth knowing or talking to

Live your own life and love yourself mate and don't waste time wishing you were someone different.

I agree on this post small circle too many fake people and jealously creeps up im in that category I’m a loner lol but most gym guys probably are I love my own company and probably will forever be single as I enjoy my own space doing my own thing when I want

 

[TreneBrahh]

Wearing Hoodies in the summer is the same thing I do also... I suffer massively from bigorexia and that is the problem. I'm trying to defeat my demons one at a time tho, because this bigorexia thing will be the death of me if I don't get it under control.

 

[ADAM1]

The majority of bodybuilders suffer from bigorexia, i still do, the trick is not allowing it to rule your life.
You have to find your own way of defeating it.

 

[Functional Fitness]

Wearing Hoodies in the summer is the same thing I do also... I suffer massively from bigorexia and that is the problem. I'm trying to defeat my demons one at a time tho, because this bigorexia thing will be the death of me if I don't get it under control.

Dysmorphia issues are the driving force behind male bbing mate but nobody wants to admit it or talk about it and look emotionally weak.
I spent years bulking just because I always felt the need to look bigger/stronger and I wanted to impress people...but being bigger doesn't achieve happiness in life and nobody outside of bbing actually gives a fuck about how big your muscles are.

 

[Dbol Squirrel]

As the title suggests, I have zero self confidence. I'm the guy that stands in the corner at social gatherings, I can't talk confidently to people, I never really feel good about myself. I even wear hoodies in summer (defeats the point of working out)

Does anyone here used to have this problem? How did you overcome it?.... it sucks

A good friend of mine who's since passed, said something so simple to me years ago in response to me saying that I've never been confident.
He said "But you're confident in being you."
Maybe it was the timing, but I will always remember him for that.
It's one of those statements that you can't refute.
It's just true.
You ARE confident in being you.
Almost like the play on words I used to use when coaching people therapeutically.
There's just no way around the fact that if someone says they lack confidence, that they are expressing confidence in that.
In the same way that doubt can be reframed as confidence in something you don't want.
I know it sounds potentially corny and just like a play on words.., but ALL beliefs and thoughts are just a play on words.
Nobody is more confident at being you than you. That's impossible.
It can be hard mate, but sometimes you need to take the 'fuck it' attitude and just be totally you.
You'll be surprised how a subtle change in attitude can change your life.
And I bet if you asked people if they thought you were a confident person or not, most if not all would say yes.

 

[Kompany4]

Great post man @Dbol Squirrel

 

[Rdavisipad]

A good friend of mine who's since passed, said something so simple to me years ago in response to me saying that I've never been confident.
He said "But you're confident in being you."
Maybe it was the timing, but I will always remember him for that.
It's one of those statements that you can't refute.
It's just true.
You ARE confident in being you.
Almost like the play on words I used to use when coaching people therapeutically.
There's just no way around the fact that if someone says they lack confidence, that they are expressing confidence in that.
In the same way that doubt can be reframed as confidence in something you don't want.
I know it sounds potentially corny and just like a play on words.., but ALL beliefs and thoughts are just a play on words.
Nobody is more confident at being you than you. That's impossible.
It can be hard mate, but sometimes you need to take the 'fuck it' attitude and just be totally you.
You'll be surprised how a subtle change in attitude can change your life.
And I bet if you asked people if they thought you were a confident person or not, most if not all would say yes.

I've screenshot this reply, that way I can read it whenever I need it.

Thank you

 

[Dbol Squirrel]

I've screenshot this reply, that way I can read it whenever I need it.

Thank you

You're welcome bro.
It also took courage and confidence for you to share what you did.
Easy to forget that.
I'm sure you also know people who could not show any sense of vulnerability like we do in this forum sometimes.
It takes 'balls' to do that.
I used to keep shit to myself thinking it made me seem strong.
And this is conditioned into us by society.
The truth is more subtle than that.

Potentially off topic, but the hardest lesson for many guys is in relation to women.
I like to think of the difference as this between being needy and being authentic and strong.
Metaphorically it's like holding a baby that is crying. Neediness is passing the baby to (in this case a woman) and saying "You take care of it."
Authentic sharing and honesty, is keeping hold of the baby and saying.., "I just need to take some time to take care of this." And if they offer to help, then fantastic.
Mature women hate the first option but respect the hell out of the second.
Just one example, but it applies to many areas of life.
Something I've gotten wrong too many times but am getting better at.
Maybe others reading this can relate.